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Kelly Chandler
Wedding Planner & Director of The Bespoke Wedding Company. Tel: 020 8715 3316 or visit www.thebespokeweddingco.com. |
Kelly Chandler answers all your Wedding Planning related questions |
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Party Spirit
Q. My fiancé and I really want to create a party atmosphere at our wedding but we're unsure what kind of band to have, particularly for the evening reception. What would you suggest?
A. Kelly Chandler says: Music is a key component of any party and it's important to create the right tone for your day. When it comes to booking an act, do include your personal preferences but also consider all of your guests and what they would enjoy. While you may love clubbing, the chances are that aunts and uncles will not enjoy the sounds of a top club DJ. Instead, save this kind of music for the last hour or two to enjoy with your friends.
When it comes to choosing a band, those that offer versatility such as a range of soul, pop and Motown music and sometimes swing or Latino, work well for weddings. Jazz and swing prove to be very popular as they make an elegant choice for background music at dinner, as well as a great way to start off the evening's dancing. Just be aware that when played all night long, jazz will probably not create the party atmosphere you're after. Try a band that's happy to vary its content and work with your guests. |
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Family Matters
Q. Our families are very different so we're worried about people getting along on the day. Do you have any ideas that could help?
A. Kelly Chandler says: This is quite a common scenario so it's always a good idea to get families together before the big day to break the ice. Even a casual dinner the night before can make a difference. If this isn?t an option, it may not be ideal to seat guests with people they don't know for long periods of time. Why not consider a stand-up reception with a barbecue or hog roast to get people mingling?
Lots of entertainment works well too. Choose things that will keep people busy, such as garden games, a close-up magician or caricaturist. With these kinds of entertainment, language is not an issue if you have guests from abroad and everyone can join in, minimising awkward situations or uncomfortable conversations. |
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Ceremonial Vows
Q. My fiancé and I are unsure what kind of ceremony we would like. Can you tell us what the difference is between a civil ceremony and a humanist ceremony?
A. Kelly Chandler says: Civil ceremonies are conducted by a registrar either at an approved venue or a registry office, between 8am and 6pm. These ceremonies must be completely non-religious. There are key legal vows and declarations you will be asked to make and the registrar's words will be standard. However, it is possible to personalise such ceremonies with your own readings, music and - depending on how well you get to know your registrar - they may embellish it with some lovely words specific to you and your fiancé.
Humanist ceremonies are a non-legal option and can take place anywhere, at any time. They will need to be preceded by a legal marriage, however, such as a civil ceremony. Humanist blessings can use similar wording to a civil ceremony or they can be conducted in a way that is entirely personal to the couple. Humanist celebrants are usually excellent at providing guidance and ideas and their ceremonies are often beautiful and highly personal. |
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Venue Decoration
Q. Our reception venue is very versatile, but a little plain. The owners have allowed us to decorate it as we wish, but I'm stuck for ideas. What's the most cost-effective way to transform the look of a venue?
A. Kelly Chandler says: There are lots of clever ways to make an ordinary room really stand out. One idea, that doesn't cost the earth is to have pretty screens (similar to dressing-room screens) to hide unsightly areas, or just to make a nice background. Star-cloth skies and strings of fairy lights are very beautiful, but if you have a bigger budget, LED lighting is well worth the money. Lights can be positioned to beam upwards, and for a few hundred pounds your venue can be given a coloured hue that gets more and more powerful as the day progresses. By the evening, this can look really dramatic. |
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Dream Themes
Q. I've been to so many 'themed' weddings and am wondering if it's really necessary. What is your opinion?
A. Kelly Chandler says: Your wedding should scream that it's yours and be reflective of the two of you, your ways, hobbies, interests and the unique things that make you you; these make some of the best weddings whatever the budget. Don?t worry about having a 'theme' though. The words theme/scheme can make some people shudder or panic with fear; it sometimes conjures up images of wild western parties and fancy dress. While this might be your preference (and if it is, go for it) but for most a theme will be more subtle, and will shine through in colours of stationery and flowers or fabrics or by the way that you plan the day out. You might not have a theme from the beginning either so don't worry. Often the venue inspires you and you will gradually gather it together; that's the wonderful thing about planning such a special event over a period of time. |
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Invitation Only
Q. Some of my friends have children but an equal number do not so I'm unsure whether to invite children to my wedding. What do you think is acceptable?
A. Kelly Chandler says: There is no right or wrong answer to this question and it entirely depends on your circumstances.
Now a popular option is to invite children but provide plenty for them to do so they don't become disruptive and their parents can enjoy the day.
A crèche service is ideal. Choose one that will provide plenty of toys and games for all ages as well as items for small babies like bottle warming and baby changing mats.
Whatever you decide it's important to consider that most young children eat earlier than adults so don't expect them to sit at the dining tables at 7pm or later. A simple one course dinner will also be sufficient for most little ones. |
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Marquee Dilemma
Q. We are having a church wedding in Stoke Newington and would really like our reception in a marquee but cannot find a venue to put one up that's within a 30-40 minute drive from our church. Our overall budget is £10,000 so we also need something that's reasonably priced. Any ideas?
A. Kelly Chandler says: I would think very carefully before choosing a marquee wedding.
Marquees are often an expensive option, especially if you don't have the land to pitch it in.
When you hire a marquee you need to consider the following items; lighting, heating, toilets, power, furniture and a kitchen for the caterers - all things which would otherwise be taken care of by a hotel or venue.
One alternative is to use a hall or sports club and line and drape it in white to create the effect of a marquee - there are specialist companies who do this as well as some marquee companies and you will find it more cost effective.
If you are insistent on a marquee though I'd suggest contacting local land owners (for example farmers) instead of hotels but be prepared to travel further outside of London to find the kind of space you want. |
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